Everyone jokes about being a warrior of God, but I believe that only saints are true warriors of God because they have at some point encounter the devil. We think that the challenges that we encounter in our life are battles that God has given us, yet they are common things that everyone encounters. The real battles are fought in darkness against a force greater than us. Only a few can handle and battle the evils of this world on behalf of others. Every saint has sacrifice their live so others can enjoy peace in this world. It's no wonder why there is only 10,000 saints, many are called but few are chosen.

This is the most important post on this blog. A few years ago, I would ask God to guide and reveal what my mission on this earth was. In my last month in Lethbridge, I was inspired to create a nonprofit for celebrate and help neurodiverse people. Out of nowhere, one of my classmates invited to join his study group, after our last study session, I realized that we needed more representation for neurodiverse people in society. Soon after, I headed to my room and began working on this plan. After almost two years of working on this project, I realize that this might be my mission on this earth, yet I'm just the tool that God is using. Even thought legally, I am the founder of the nonprofit, it belongs to God because only he can create and destroy things. Without him all of this would not be possible. I am just a servant that God uses to get his message across to others. I am grateful that he answered my prayer and uses me for his purpose.

God takes away the flower and gives you the entire garden. I don't think I deserve what God has given me because I have sinned so much that is hard for me to even show up to church without feeling guilt. I'm scared of dying and not because of what happens after but being judge by God and not having an explanation is what worries me, but most importantly to be away from him in hell. With him I have everything but without him I have nothing.

God truly takes the flower away to give you the whole garden. In January 2023, I was lost. I had just returned from Mexico to start the spring semester of my junior year of college and something was off. I didn't believe that I could continue, but at the same time is like I had too. One day in February I was looking out the window into campus and I began to ask myself if it was worth it continuing my studies, and I thought about ending it. By the time I was done the semester I had met so many good people that made the end of the semester better. Coming back was the worst feeling because I knew that I wasn't going to go back to university and that was heartbreaking. It was rough for the next couple of months, until I got a job at a warehouse. My first day was October 2, 2023. I soon as I got off the bus, I though about not showing up, thinking how miserable my life was up to that moment. Since then I had the best experience of my life, meeting and learning from people from all over the world, trying to balance my autism and social anxiety, but honestly I should not be alive by any metric. From a very young age, I was bullied and taunted, so it was a pain to show up to school every single day. I truly believe that God somehow wants me to be alive, he saved me from ending it because you get to a point where you are lost and can no longer continue but there is a voice and a feeling to keep going. After taking away what I thought was the best thing in my life, he gave something better.

Why is God is so unfair? I believe that the punishment for the original sin is not death but having experienced his creation to the fullest just to forget when we die. Over the past year I have had the best experiences and met the best people in my life, yet I am afraid that I won't get to see them after I die. I just hope that God gives me the chance to see everyone that has made a positive impact on my life because to experience God's creation is to be part of him but yet is a curse because we venture into the unknown after we die? Being human is so complex as we have a different understanding of life than other animals, like dogs or cats that do not understand the concept of death.

I have a problem with saints. Especially with saints after the fifteenth century. As role models, aren't saints supposed to be like us. Carlo Acutis spent all his time at church while Therese of Lisieux was a nun. If that is the standard, then we are all doomed. I believe the Bible and saints of the first centuries are the best example of how to live a life. We are all sinners but to spend all your time at Church and not experience life that would be a shame. The Church has to do a better job of canonizing sinners who were able to turn their life around. I feel like God would rather see someone knew come into his house than the same person everyday praying for the same thing. I think that the people that the church is canonizing should serve as a cautionary tale that too much religion in your life can often blind you from discovering all the beauty in God's creation. The true saints of the church are the people who sinned but return to God not the ones spend all their time in Church offering their "suffering" for others.

Last night I was watching a video, it was a pastor with a little boy who had cancer. At the beginning of the video, the pastor reinforced the idea that God has given the little boy cancer as a sign of being one of his warriors. This is the problem that I have with non-Catholic Christians, that because something awful happens in your life, they believe that it is a sign of God. I believe that all physical and mental illnesses are not part of God's plan but are part of earth and I believe that God wants everyone to have a healthy and joyous life but the pastor in that video is pushing the devil's agenda by affirming that God wants you to suffer. Non-Catholic Christians are the worst kind of humans because they create churches and go around telling people what to do with their own interpretation of scriptures believing that by judging others and giving intense speeches that they are doing God's work but in reality they work for the devil as the divide Christians into different subdivisions creating rifts between one another instead of creating a strong front against the devil. Furthermore by self-appointing themselves as disciples, apostles, warriors, and messengers of God "Christians" are deceiving themselves into roles that do not belong to them. I think that it is the devil that is behind movements such as MAGA, the conservative movement worldwide and influencers online who attend churches other than the Catholic Church. The only warriors/soldiers of God are saints and the only advocates of God are priests or members of the Catholic clergy.