I understand that mass is boring. When I see Christian church services, with the band and huge screen projecting the lyrics of the worships songs, it might seem cool but that is not the point of mass. The point of church is not for us to listen to a motivational speaker or pep talk about how good Jesus is, it is to remind us about the sacrifice that Jesus did on the cross. The closest that we can to God on this earth is through the eucharist, not the Bible or the cross but the actual body of Christ. Every other Christian church including the Orthodox Church is follows paganism rules and should not be consider to be Christian because they cherry pick what they like and easy to them about religion yet forget that to be a Christian requires sacrifice and to be uncomfortable.

Are modern priests the reincarnation of the Church Fathers? In social media I've notice that a common trend among priests. They all warn about the dangers of not going to confession yet they are only available for confession at inconvenient times for everyone that is not part of the clergy. It is so hypocritical to warn about something but not try to correct. Instead of warning people, invite them to confession. Most Church Fathers also warned about a lot of things but decided to not guide and help people.

God is self-sufficient. He doesn't need us to exist, yet for some reasons He wants us. Science is never going to be able to find an explanation for our existence. The best answer to the question of why we are here is that God wants us to be his children but the best way to get to know Him is through his creation. As Queen Elizabeth II said when she quoted an aboriginal proverb: "We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love, and then we return home." There is a motto that I lived by: "Why do we worry, in the end nothing belongs to us anyway." Our goal in this life should be allowing God to love us as we are, and for us to love Him. We have attached ourselves to the things of this world and forgotten that we should just enjoy and protect God's creation.

I was listening to a video about a Catholic woman who said that the people who commit suicide go straight to hell. As someone who lives with anxiety and depression, I don't think people truly understand what it feels like to get to that point. It is so difficult to get out of that place that sometimes the only way out is to die because it is a massive weight. The classic argument is that life is sacred and therefore no one should attempt against it and I completely get it, but I think pro-life people should really be protesting wars, hunger, femicides, and other injustices against the human life instead of only caring about the unborn. The Devil knows we are prone to sin so he only cares about getting us away from God by feeling pride and arrogance.

This morning I saw clips from the 100th episode of the George Janko Show in which they assembled "Christian Avengers" but to me they are just crackheads who have no clue about their religion and claim to be messengers of God who proclaim the good news but anyone can become a pastor or talk about religion. To me Christianity and the Catholic Church is like the official embassy of the Kingdom of Heaven, with priests serving as ambassadors and representatives of such nation here on earth. Every other Christian is simply a con artist trying to sell you cheap and easy ways to enter Heaven. Only follow priest and clergy from the Catholic Church and not some moron on the internet who claims to prophesy in the of God. These so called "Christians" are the ones that the Lord warned us about in Matthew 7:21-23 because they believe that they work on behalf of the Lord but in reality no one gave them the authority or the power to prophesy and cast out demons in the name of the Lord. The only ones that are allowed to work on behalf of the Lord are members of the clergy as the true successors of the Apostles.

Aside from the Eucharist and the rosary, our biggest weapon against the Devil is love. There is no greater enemy of the Devil than to have kindness, compassion, and affection for others. As I have mention before, love transcends space and time, meaning that it is persistent regardless of the circumstances. Love is unselfish, loyal, and the benevolent concern for the good of the other. As it is essential for any form of relationship, love is the most powerful tool we can use when faced against the Devil because he is self-centered and selfish.

We all sin. It was not the Romans who crucified Him. It was not the Romans who mocked Him. It was not the Romans who put the crown of thorns in His head. It was not the Romans who whipped Him until his bones were exposed out of the flesh. It was not the Romans who gambled His clothes while He laid on the cross in agony. It was not the crowds who wanted to free Barabbas and crucify Him. It was me. Every time I sin, I am complicit in His death. But he looked at the world that hated him and said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." We truly do not know the extend of His suffering because we look for revenge and retaliation when someone does something bad to us instead of forgiveness. It is difficult not to sin, especially as someone with ADHD and autism, who does things out impulsiveness but I understand that there is no excuse for my behavior regardless.

I came across a video a few days ago. It was a young lady who's brother has autism. She explain that even with all the hardships, she would not ask for her brother to be "normal." That got me thinking about my own situation. Sometimes I wish I didn't have autism because of all the perks of a normal life: understanding social cues, not having meltdowns, maturity, compassion, being independent. Yet, having autism makes more human. In a world full of hate and self-love, be the different one, love everyone around you because He loved us first even if we were not perfect as He is. Having autism is the worst thing in the world even if some people disagree but He wanted me to be this way, out all the different versions, He chose this one because He has plans for me.

Martin Luther would be disappointed if he saw the division that has been created within Christianity. The Devil loves that. Sometimes I am tempted to give up on life because of the anxiety and depression that comes with having autism but I am always reminded that love transcends time and space, so even if I feel like I'm not enough or I failed there no bigger act of love than a king who came down from his throne, was humiliated and sacrifice himself because he loved me. God already has everything that he needs, yet he Wants Us. He waits at the door ready to for us to open it and welcome him into our lives. He gives not because of loyalty or compromise but because of love. The devil hates love, he cannot live with the fact that love is putting everything we are aside for another. Sacrifice, understanding, patience, wisdom, reflection, trust are all needed but the Devil instead wants pride and arrogance.

Everyone jokes about being a warrior of God, but I believe that only saints are true warriors of God because they have at some point encounter the devil. We think that the challenges that we encounter in our life are battles that God has given us, yet they are common things that everyone encounters. The real battles are fought in darkness against a force greater than us. Only a few can handle and battle the evils of this world on behalf of others. Every saint has sacrifice their live so others can enjoy peace in this world. It's no wonder why there is only 10,000 saints, many are called but few are chosen.

This is the most important post on this blog. A few years ago, I would ask God to guide and reveal what my mission on this earth was. In my last month in Lethbridge, I was inspired to create a nonprofit for celebrate and help neurodiverse people. Out of nowhere, one of my classmates invited to join his study group, after our last study session, I realized that we needed more representation for neurodiverse people in society. Soon after, I headed to my room and began working on this plan. After almost two years of working on this project, I realize that this might be my mission on this earth, yet I'm just the tool that God is using. Even thought legally, I am the founder of the nonprofit, it belongs to God because only he can create and destroy things. Without him all of this would not be possible. I am just a servant that God uses to get his message across to others. I am grateful that he answered my prayer and uses me for his purpose.

God takes away the flower and gives you the entire garden. I don't think I deserve what God has given me because I have sinned so much that is hard for me to even show up to church without feeling guilt. I'm scared of dying and not because of what happens after but being judge by God and not having an explanation is what worries me, but most importantly to be away from him in hell. With him I have everything but without him I have nothing.